Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Urban Landscapes, Humidity, High Heels, and Pantyhose

Brief post, because I have been working oh-so-hard as I started my summer associate job last week.

First, urban landscapes were simply not designed for women wearing high heels. The vents, manhole covers, and other assorted small holes in the sidewalk are booby traps just waiting to snag your heel and render you shoeless. If you do this in a group of your colleagues, you will get looks of sympathy from the women, but laughter from the men.

I have yet to share my rant about pantyhose with you, but I am going to do so now. I believe that if the so-called glass ceiling exists, it exists in the form of pantyhose. Pantyhose keep women back, with every run in a stocking there is an assignment or an opportunity that pantyhose keeps a woman from pursuing. Pantyhose, while sheer and delicate, binds women in a way that keeps them from achieving true gender equality. Mind you, I have never classified myself as a feminist, but pantyhose makes me miserable, and if I am forced to wear them because of some traditional, arcane, antiquated ideal that women should keep their legs covered in the office, then I will never ever make partner. Once the humidity sets in, and going outside feels like trudging through a swamp, pantyhose become the most uncomfortable garment known to mankind. I would sooner walk 5 miles in the most uncomfortable shoes I own rather than wear pantyhose on a day with 100% humidity. Pantyhose are simply an eternal burden women in contemporary society must bear that ranks right up there with corsets.

So I'll get to my point, and that is that it is impossible for women to be entirely comfortable in a humid urban landscape wearing high heels and pantyhose. Now, the men I know will raise that neckties aren't exactly slippers, but give me a necktie anyday of the week.

With love from the urban jungle sans pantyhose,

DF

2 comments:

Viagra said...

Wearing high heels in that environment does not sound like a good time.

Elliott Broidy said...

Sounds intense